she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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