She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize