Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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