If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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