Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
