you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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