your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
