dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
