It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
