I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
