Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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