i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
