bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
