I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
