There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
