I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A bitchslap is in order.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
