My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
