Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
