Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
