This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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