Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
