THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
