I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
