I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
