Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there's paper in my vomit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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