you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
