its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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