no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
