textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
