he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
