my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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