Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he thought i was a dude.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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