we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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