I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
