Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
