i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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