Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
