i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
