I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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