Where did you get a picture of my penis
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
