By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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