you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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