I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
