I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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