Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
