If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
