There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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