Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
