i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
