We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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