Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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