She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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