i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
