Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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