his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I believe in your delicious
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
