i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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