Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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