Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
