I want to have your abortion
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
