My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
