watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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