Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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