the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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